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Pex Mahoney Tufvesson - Load Error (feat. Jesper of PPOT)

from The Sound of SceneSat Volume 6 by Various Artists

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SPOILER ALERT!
All of the errors in this song "Load Error" are from the COMMODORE 64 BASIC V2 in a 64K RAM SYSTEM with 38911 BASIC BYTES FREE.
Today's pro-tip from the coach (that's me, Mahoney): You can trigger them yourself!
?SYNTAX ERROR is triggered by typing PEX -
?DIVISION BY ZERO ERROR by typing PRINT 5/0 -
?FILE NOT FOUND ERROR by typing LOAD "LIFE",8 -
?FORMULA TOO COMPLEX ERROR by typing PRINT POS("")POS("")POS("") -
?ILLEGAL DEVICE NUMBER ERROR by typing LOAD "MAHONEY",0 -
?MISSING FILE NAME ERROR by typing LOAD "",8 -
?OUT OF DATA ERROR by typing READY -
?OUT OF MEMORY ERROR IN 2021 by typing 2021 GOSUB 2021 and then RUN -
?TOO MANY FILES ERROR IN 2021 by typing 10 FOR A=1 TO 11 and then 2021 OPEN A,8 and then 2022 NEXT and then RUN -
?LOAD ERROR is tricky. Create a tape save file in an emulator, then corrupt that one by altering the last 30% of the file with a hex editor. Commodore 64 basic stored your program twice on the cassette, the first part for loading it and the second part for verifying it. Just make sure that the second part is wrong - Correctly handled, you will get LOAD and then see PRESS PLAY ON TAPE -> OK -> SEARCHING -> FOUND HELLO and you press space, and then you'll see LOADING and at last your long struggle to get a proper LOAD ERROR is over!
For the rest of the lyrics in the song, I suggest you'll write a program with
PRINT "YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG." -
PRINT "YOU ARE FALLING BEHIND" -
PRINT "YOU ARE MISSING THE BEAT" -
PRINT "YOU ARE SPOILING THE FUN" -
PRINT "YOU ARE GUILTY AS HELL" -
Oh, and yes, I'm singing as well. I started out with way too much lyrics and there was supposed to be a rapping part as well. However, the times of wonderfully written poems put into musical context are over, and all you got this time was the juicy bits "MY LIFE CAME WITH BROKEN LOADER" - "MALFUNCTION IN SOCIAL DECODER".
But I promise you there were lyrics along the lines of:

My sixtyfour is loading,
the bits and bytes are decoding.

The screen is blue and steady,
there's nothing on my telly,
and no sign of READY.

My sixtyfour is loading
with unsuccessful decoding

I've been waiting for half a day
though when done there's no game to play
all I did was pray in vain

My turbo tape is loading
the bits and bytes are decoding

No need to wait half a day
though when done there's no game to play
all I did was pray in vain

My turbo tape is loading
with unsuccessful decoding

The screen is all lines and flashing
but when I run it does nothing but crashing
I feel the fury unlashing bashing smashing


...and the last verse was something along "My life is like a loader with malfunction in social decoder - I've been loading for half a life, though when done there's no sign of a wife.", but that was a little too depressing so it got edited out.

Anyway, you've been a good reader getting this far - congratulations! I still have a homepage at livet.se/mahoney - and in 2021 even homepage are is becoming retro and vintage. But it's there, with loads of Mahoney & Kaktus history in a long list.

I made this song because I haven't heard any song like this anywhere else.

Be nice, be noise and have a noise night! / Pex "Mahoney" Tufvesson

Thanks to Jesper Holm Olsen of the lovely Copenhagen retro nerd band Press Play On Tape for the mighty guitar playing! Thanks to my beta-listeners LMan and Virgill for gently nudging me towards the song you hear right now! I had fun making it, and I hope you had fun listening to it!

credits

from The Sound of SceneSat Volume 6, released August 22, 2021

license

all rights reserved

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